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Some advice for kids
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are not alone. It may seem that way,
but odds are that if someone is bullying you, then they may be doing the
same to others. |
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Keep a record of what is happening. Kidscape have an excellent
idea called a 'Bullying Log'. Even if you don't use it as part of an
agreement with your school to stamp out the problem, it contains all the
information that you will need to note down to prove what is happening,
right down to a space to sketch the location of the incident(s). |
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Talk to a teacher or another adult at the school whom you can trust.
Teachers might appear to turn a blind eye to what is happening, but
there are also those who care. If it seems that the first teacher you
talk to doesn't take you seriously, find someone who does. If necessary,
go and see the Head Teacher (which is where having a log of events will
help). |
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Speaking with the Head Teacher: This is always an option, because
bear in mind that if your parents/carers withdraw you from the school,
it can cost the school money that they get from the Local Education
Authority (LEA). However, you must take evidence of the problem with
you. The Head Teacher may have several hundred kids under their care and
they won't necessarily know who you are. |
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Official meetings with the bullies. If the school suggests that
you have a meeting with the bullies so that you can explain to them how
the situation makes you feel, REFUSE TO DO THIS
and bear in mind that Kidscape advise this course of action also.
This idea stems from the 'no blame' culture seen in some circles, and
different descriptions are given for the method (Resolution or
Reparation meetings). It is
claimed that this method has a 100% success rate because the victim
never reports that another incident has occurred. Of course not! Now the
bully knows how bad you feel, and you think the school has made things
worse, so they are the last people you are going to tell. (Duh!) |
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Fogging or shielding. This is a technique which my son has used.
When you have to walk into a situation e.g. the school dining hall or
cafeteria, where you know the bullies will be, imagine a wall of fog or
some sort of shield around you. Anything they say will bounce off the
shield or get lost in the fog. When the bullies see they can't get a
reaction from you, they will move to another victim. |
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Investigate ways to build your sense of self-worth. Some people
enjoy music, or art. Some are sporty. The latter has the advantage that
you will end up fitter and stronger that the average bully. In my son's
case, he developed an interest in triathlon. Cycling to school along
quite busy roads has
improved his confidence in his own abilities. Martial arts is another
option, but investigate a few clubs before joining one. Now, it can
happen that whatever your interest, if it is a school subject, the
bullies try to make this hell for you. This is where speaking with the
teacher can help. If you are my son's age, telling a teacher that you
love e.g. music, but can't face doing it at GCSE because certain people
are always taking the piss ... can really make them sit up and take
notice.
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What if the bully tries to take your phone/iPod/money etc from you:
OK, this may sound strange, particularly coming from a parent who has
paid for or provided said item, but let them take it. Your life and
safety are worth much more than the latest gadget. However, they have
now committed a reportable crime: theft. So, go straight to either you
form/class teacher, or to the Head Teacher and report it as such.
Also
ensure that your parents/carers
report it to the
police and obtain a crime number. (This link will take you to the
Home Office page about doing that) |
And a final note to
parents:
 | Even when things are
really bad with the school, do not de-register
your child with the LEA. A friend of mine found out to her cost
that by doing so, she lost any monies that she might have been able to
claim towards the costs of hiring a tutor for her daughter. |
 | Go to your child's
GP and explain the problem. Have the GP sign a letter to excuse them
from attendance at school on the grounds of the stress being
detrimental to their health. |
 | Then find out from
the LEA how they intend to resolve the problem so that YOUR child is
not disadvantaged. Why should the bullies be the ones who get to take
their GCSEs while your child misses out. |
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